painting_walls

Title: The Purest Wishes
Author: painting_walls
Fandom: J2 RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: ~2200 words.
Disclaimer: Jared and Jensen own ~~each other~~ themselves. I probably couldn’t afford feeding them if I owned them.
Summary: Jensen meets an elf and it’s forced to face what he truly wishes for Christmas.

Notes: This story was written for spn_j2_xmas and it’s a gift for chase_acow. Sorry for completely failing on using your prompts as the realism in this story seemed to run and hide before I got a change to write it down. Awesomely speedy beta by riahpariah0725.

* * * * * *

The mall was packed and Jensen cursed himself for leaving Christmas shopping for last minute. He grimly decided that this year no one would get any extra presents, but he still had two people left, Mackenzie and Jared. His sister was easy, he knew she had been complaining about her laptop, and being the awesome brother he was, he had already decided that she'd get a shiny pink notebook. He let the clerk talk him into buying a matching exterior hard drive, too, since it was supposed to be a must for anyone who wanted to save a lot of pictures and music.

After leaving the computer store, hundreds of dollars poorer, Jensen just spent a while wondering what would be cool enough for Jared. While thinking he made a quick stop at pet store to throw in some bones for Harley and Sadie. He wandered to the other end of the mall and looked at his watch to see how long he had before he should head home. Jared was visiting some friends and Jensen had promised to take the dogs for a run after his shopping. He finally found the perfect gift in the small store in the end of the mall where a never-ending line of kids waited their turns to see Santa, who Jensen knew to be just an underpaid actor, When he had first moved away from home he had actually done that one Christmas, a job he had never really told anyone about since he had been so freaking embarrassed about it.

When he squeezed past the kids and tried to make his way to the nearest exit for the mall parking, someone caught his sleeve. He turned, expecting to see some kid, but there was only a midget -- little person, Jensen corrected in his head -- dressed like an elf.

”Sorry,” Jensen said. ”I'm just trying to get past.”

”Have you ever thought you could get what you really wanted for Christmas?” The elf guy said.

”If I buy it myself. I'm a little too old to believe in Santa,” Jensen said.

”When a wish comes from the heart, it'll become true,” the elf continued like Jensen hadn't spoken in the first place.

”Yeah, thanks,” Jensen said. God, did this guy learn these lines from fortune cookies or something? ”Cool costume, you really look life an elf.”

”The purest wishes can be heard,” the elf guy said and vanished into the crowd.

Jensen stood there for a moment.

”And they say I take staying in character too seriously,” he finally muttered to himself and walked to his car.

At home he put the presents he had bought away and changed for his running gear. The dogs were excited like always to see him take out the leashes and jumped against him as he tried to clip the leashes on their collars.

”Easy guys,” Jensen soothed. ”Jay wouldn't really like that you behave like this behind his back.”

Sadie sat back on her hind legs and barked at him.

* * * *

After the run Jensen saw that Jared wasn't still at home and kicked off his wet sneakers, leaving them on the floor with the dogs’ leashes. He checked that the dogs' water bowl was full before jumping in the shower. That was when the first weird feeling hit him. He felt sort of light headed and placed his palms on the bathroom counter, thinking that maybe it was just that he hadn't eaten properly for the whole day. He waited for a moment, keeping his head down, and as it cleared, he slowly raised his gaze up looking for signs of another dizzy spell. As it didn't come, he shook his head a bit and went for the shower.

As he closed the shower curtain he glanced at the mirror and snickered. He should definitely clean that thing, as it seems that his image was a bit blurry. He stood under the warm spray for a while before taking the soap and lathering up. As he rubbed the soap on his skin he let his hands wander, he listened carefully for the sounds of Jared coming home. There was still quiet, though, and he jacked himself slow, trying not to let his mind wander too much, but the mere though of Jared coming home and catching him aroused him almost more than his own touch did. The guilty feeling, that usually came with letting himself think about Jared, was just a quiet nagging in the back of his mind as he brought himself closer with the image of Jared on the door watching him in his mind. His orgasm brought another dizzy spell with it, and he had to lean against the wall as he waited it to pass. Turning off the water he got a towel and got out of the shower rubbing his chin and wondering if he should shave. He hadn't in the morning, since he was so used on keeping the slight scruff he had had for Dean in the few last episodes, but he'd have a few days off now so there was no need to keep it now.

The mirror was fogged, and he reached out to wipe it with his hand to see himself. As his hand slid against the cool surface he got the scare of his life. He couldn't see himself. In the water streaked mirror there was nothing but the reflection of the empty bathroom. He could see the extra towel he had hanging on the towel rack on the wall but he couldn't see the one he had wrapped around his waist. He threw it on the counter and watched in horror how it seemed on appear from nowhere. He snatched it back and watched how it just vanished as he wrapped it around himself. After repeating twice Jensen felt hysterical laughter escaping him.

I've turned invisible and I'm obsessing about the towel, he thought. He run out of the bathroom and almost fell over Harley, who had apparently decided the best place for a nap was on the middle of the Jensen's bedroom. The big dog raised its head and looked at him expectantly as he caught himself against the wall.

”Fuck,” he cursed and reached for his cell that lay on the table beside his bed.

He flipped it open and thumbed through his contacts stopping on Jared. He pressed the call button, and just when Jared answered the thought hit Jensen. What the hell was he doing? He couldn't just call people and tell them things like this. Instead he made up a story of needing to go out and asked if Jared would be back soon. After the call he sat on his bed and quietly hyperventilated. Harley still stared at him and he reached to pet the dog.

”So I take it that you can see me?” Jensen said to the dog that just tilted its head listening carefully.

”Or is this like, you can sense me being there without seeing me?” Jensen asked and burst out laughing. ”And God, I'm seriously trying to talk with a dog.”

A while later, he heard the front door open and watched how Harley ran for it. He heard the both dogs bark excitedly as Jared greeted them. For a moment he wanted to run there too and hope Jared's presence would solve everything. He looked down at his hands and felt weird seeing them looking like they always did. Then a thought hit him. Maybe he had just lost his reflection, like a vampire or something. He bolted up and run for the door before realizing he was still butt naked. He snatched a pair of sweat pants from his closet and pulled them up before running for Jared.

”Hey Jen,” Jared said as Jensen stepped in the kitchen where Jared was already pulling food out of the fridge.

Jensen was just about to open his mouth and thank God when Jared turned around and looked puzzled. He looked around and the walked right up to the door where Jensen was standing and peered out of the kitchen.

”Weird,” Jared said quietly shaking his head. ”I thought that I actually heard steps.”

Jensen just stood there frozen. Jared couldn't see him. He wanted to say something, wanted to scream, but something stopped him. He didn't want to scare Jared out of his wits and he didn't really know if Jared could hear him. But he had talked to Jared on the phone right? Maybe he should, like, carefully let Jared know he was actually there. He wondered what he should say, or maybe like writing a note would be easier. The whole situation was so absurd that Jensen couldn't really form any coherent thought and ended up just following Jared quietly as he walked up to his own bedroom.

Finally, gathering all his courage and thinking it was probably the safest moment to say anything as Jared sat on his bed, Jensen sat beside him and cleared his throat. It didn't seem to get any reaction from Jared so Jensen swallowed slowly before opening his mouth.

”Jay,” Jensen said quietly.

Jared just sat there and Jensen stared him in shock.

”JARED!” Jensen yelled, finally losing the last of his calm.

The dogs came running to see if something was wrong and Jared laughed softly.

”What are you two nutheads up to now?” He asked the dogs and clearly didn't hear Jensen at all.

Jensen's mind raced. What if this was some gradual thing and in the end he'd disappear completely. Just like a half an hour ago he could talk to Jared on the phone. Why hadn't he said anything then? He silently cursed himself for being so utterly stupid. How he was supposed to make everything go back to normal if he couldn't talk to Jared? At that point he was getting desperate and Jared beside him was just talking to his mutts.

”Fuck you,” he told Jared sternly and poked Jared's arm. Jared didn't react to that either.

In a few hours, Jensen was slowly going mad. He was slowly losing his ability to move things, as his hands seemed to just slip through them if he didn't concentrate really hard, and anything he could do didn't really catch Jared's attention. The dogs kept enough noise to cover his attempts on communicating the problem to Jared as they curiously followed him as he tried to figure out what he could or couldn't do.

Meanwhile, Jared, completely obvious to the weird happenings around him, had settled himself on couch to watch some TV. Finally Jensen just gave up and sat beside him. He was already tired and the stress of the whole thing hung over him like a black cloud. Being near to Jared felt comforting and Jensen moved a bit closer and let his head fall on Jared's shoulder. It seemed like his life was over and there was nothing he could do about it.

”Jay,” he spoke quietly even if he knew that it didn't really matter if he shouted it. Jared wouldn't hear him anyway. ”I'm sorry.”

He didn't really know what he was apologizing about. There was nothing he had done and nothing he could have done differently. Or was there? Jensen stopped to think. In the show these things usually seemed to happen for a reason. Like if he could figure out one thing that was wrong he could get back to normal. He had read enough urban legends and old folklore during the filming that he knew that some lore said that these things were supposed to be lessons. He wondered, but he only come up with one simple solution.

”Not fair,” he said. ”Am I supposed to ruin the best friendship I have by admitting that?!”

Jared beside him moved and Jensen could feel the warmth of him. He wondered how Jared would react if he knew that. He reached out to push Jared's hair of his face but his fingers just barely moved the strands. Jared shook his head a bit and got up. He glanced at the clock and stretched. His loose t-shirt rode up a little and Jensen let his gaze to linger on the strip of bare skin. How many times he had watched Jared like this? In secret, hoping Jared wouldn't notice any of it. Now he could openly stare and Jared wouldn't still know, but what life was that? He got up and slowly followed Jared.

Jared headed out of the living room and for a one confusing moment he stood by Jensen's door staring at the empty room.

”Come home already, Jen,” Jared whispered to the emptiness.

Jensen stopped on his tracks. He had been there for the whole time, but for Jared it had seemed like he was away. But still, he hadn't been gone for more than mere hours. He looked at Jared's lost expression and made his decision.

”Jay,” he whispered. ”I'm already there. I'll always be there.”

”Jensen?” Jared turned, looking confused. ”Jen?”

Jensen stepped closer.

”I never want to be anywhere else. I love you,” his voice was barely a whisper, but this time Jared's eyes focused on him.

They stared each other for a longest moment and finally Jensen took that one more step that he needed to close the space between them. Jared's arms came around him and pulled him close. Their lips met in silent agreement and for once in Jensen's life, he felt complete.